


14 Days of Valentines

by faequeentitania



Category: Agents of Cracked, Cracked - Ambiguous Fandom, Cracked.com
Genre: 69 (Sex Position), Anal Sex, Aphrodisiacs, Boys In Love, Dating, Domestic Fluff, Falling In Love, First Time, First Time Bottoming, Fluff, Fluff and Smut, Light Dom/sub, Lingerie, Love, M/M, Romance, Romantic Fluff, Rough Sex, Sex, Sex Pollen, Valentine's Day, Valentine's Day Fluff
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-02-04
Updated: 2017-03-19
Packaged: 2018-09-22 01:20:42
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 14
Words: 8,796
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9575504
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/faequeentitania/pseuds/faequeentitania
Summary: Based onthis prompt list that I created. A series of mushy Valentine's Day drabbles.





	1. Candy Hearts

**Author's Note:**

> The timeline sometimes varies with these. A good chunk are post-series but there will be a handful that are within canon. It's pretty clear which are which.

“I ♡ U” was spelled out in candy hearts on Dan’s desk.

It was... actually quite cute. The candy hearts all said sappy things like “Be Mine,” “I love you,” “Sweetie,” and “Forever”.

Along with the candy heart art, was a Ninja Turtles Valentine that read “You have a pizza my heart!” Dan chortled as he flipped it over, and read Michael's messy handwriting, “LUV U, DAN! LUV, MICHAEL.”

Dan could feel eyes on him, and knew without a shadow of doubt that it was Michael, watching for his reaction.

Without turning to look, he sat down and picked up a thumbtack from the odds and ends cup on his desk, pinning the card up on the wall of his cubicle.

Then he snapped a quick photo of the candy hearts arrangement before picking one up and popping it in his mouth.

Michael threw himself down in the extra chair next to Dan’s desk, and Dan glanced at him.

Michael was smiling, and Dan offered him a candy heart.

“Happy Valentine’s Day, Dan,” Michael said as he took it, “Where we celebrate the masterful aim of Saint Cupid.”

Dan smiled as he shook his head, “Not quite. Thanks, though.”

Dan plucked several candy hearts off the desk, and Michael grinned as he held his mouth open expectantly.

Dan chortled, leaning back in his office chair and taking aim. An arching toss and Michael caught it, crunching happily with a goofy grin.

A few more tossed candy hearts and Dan laughed again, shoving the rest of the handful he had in his own mouth before turning to his computer monitor.

He idly stuck his finger in his mouth, sucking the sugary residue away with lazy swipes of his tongue.

He felt Michael's stare on him again, and he turned his head with raised eyebrows. He found Michael's eyes fixated on his mouth, and he pulled his finger out hurriedly with a blush rising to his cheeks.

Michael’s gaze slid up to his, and he gave a cheeky grin.

Dan just looked back to his computer as nonchalantly as he could.

This guy was going to be the death of him, honestly.


	2. Flowers

Dan’s favorite flower was lilac. It was an arbitrary thing, just a little memory from his childhood that stuck with him and made him sentimental.

His grandmother's garden had been full of lilac bushes. He had vivid memories of springtime with his grandmother, when the lilacs would be in full bloom and the sweet, cloying scent was thick in the air as he played with his brothers in the backyard and caught lightning bugs in the evening.

It was a smell that still made him happy; made him feel nostalgic and content.

He was surprised when he stepped into their apartment and that familiar scent washed over him. There they were, right on the kitchen table; spilling out over the sides of a big, beautiful glass vase.

Dan put his messenger bag down on a chair with a confused frown; he had no idea how they had come to be there.

“Oh hey, you’re home,” Michael's voice came from the bedroom doorway, and Dan turned his head to look at him. Michael was grinning, and he looked at Daniel expectantly.

“Where did these come from?” Dan asked, and Michael stepped forward, coming to stand behind him and wrap his arms around Dan's waist. He pressed a kiss to the top of Dan's head.

“I bought them for you. They're your favorite, aren't they?”

Dan turned his head in surprise, “How did you know that?”

“You said so, dummy.”

“ _When?_ ”

Dan wracked his brain, trying to think of a single time he and Michael had ever talked about flowers.

“When we visited the upstairs neighbors, remember? You told her you liked her lilac candle, that they were your favorite.”

It amazed him, sometimes, the things Michael remembered. He'd forget an instruction Dan had gave him three seconds ago, but he remembered strange little details like that out of the blue.

“Don't you like them?” Michael asked anxiously, and Dan turned around in his arms to kiss him.

“I love them,” he assured him earnestly, “Thank you, Michael. They’re beautiful, and that was very sweet.”

“That's my middle name,” Michael smiled, sunny and cheerful, and Dan just grinned as he kissed him again.

“I thought your middle name was Danger?” Dan smirked, and Michael grinned wider.

“That's my _spy_ name, Daniel. Completely different.”

“Oh okay,” Dan nodded seriously. He really was enamored with this man.

Another kiss, and Michael’s hands wandered lower with a little moan.

“Wanna bone?” Michael asked huskily, and Dan chortled. He could only expect so much romance out of his partner in a single day.

“I really do,” he answered anyway, letting Michael pull him toward the bedroom.

He really was enamored.


	3. Poetry

Dan had notebooks full of poetry. Ridiculous, over-the-top, mushy stuff because he had somehow thought that that would get him girls in high school.

There was still this deep-rooted part of him that felt compelled to write poetry. It was silly, and more than a little lame, but he couldn't help it. He was a theater nerd who had grown up with Shakespeare's sonnets on his bookshelf.

Somehow, though, he could never really find the words when it came to Michael.

Michael was... this constant whirlwind, perpetually keeping Dan on his toes and incessantly just being this strange, phenomenal, otherworldly being.

Nothing about him fit into iambic pentameter, nothing about him felt right being compared to weather or flowers or natural wonders.

Space, maybe. Dark and terrifying and _endless_ but that wasn't a particularly romantic way to talk about your partner.

Not that Michael’s ideas about romance were traditional in any sense, so who knew, maybe he'd like being compared to a nebula.

But Dan couldn't do it, couldn't find the right way or the right words to put his partner into a poem, and even more troubling, he couldn't find the words to describe how he felt about Michael either.

He was a _writer_. Words were supposed to be his tool of choice, yet they all faded away when Dan would look at the impossible man he was sharing his life with.

His favorite thing was to watch Michael sleep. Which sounded way creepier than it was.

It was just so rare for him to see. Michael was a chronic insomniac, sleeping at weird times and only in short bursts, and occasionally only with the help of chemical compounds.

But when he _did_ sleep, it was like every sappy poem about beauty that Dan had ever read.

Michael was like a vibration when he was awake; energy pouring out of him like soundwaves. But when he slept, it all went quiet and Dan could admire how _long_ Michael’s eyelashes were, the shape of his lips, the cut of his cheekbones, the little valley between his clavicles.

It was in those quiet moments that Dan wanted to compose sonnets and limericks about his partner, like he was a divine creature that needed to be captured by a net made of words.

He could never find the words, though, could never fit Michael, or Dan’s love for Michael, into a rhyme scheme. It was impossible, just like Michael himself.

So Dan stuck with his thousands of “I love you”s, his kisses and touches, his offerings of food and time and affection and hoped Michael understood.

Sometimes, Michael looked at him like he was the most incredible thing Michael had ever seen. In those moments, he felt pretty sure Michael knew that despite Dan's lack of flowery words or comparisons to a sunset, he was the most important love Dan would ever know.


	4. Gifts

It was always a toss-up when it came to gifts. Dan had long ago given up trying to gift Michael things Dan _wanted_ him to like, and had bowed instead to Michael's eccentric desires.

Conversely, Michael was consistently a good gift giver, somehow. They were never conventional gifts, by any means, but Michael was weirdly thoughtful in many ways.

One of Dan’s favorite gifts was a complete collection of President pez dispensers. It was the epitome of a Michael gift; thoughtful of Dan's interests but also weird and never something Dan would have considered buying for himself.

Michael had insisted on opening the packaging and using them, and Dan couldn't really find a good reason to object.

Michael feeding him pez from Teddy Roosevelt’s head while they hung out in bed was probably the weirdest Valentine’s Day he'd ever had, but also unquestionably the best.

It was a pretty banner year for Dan too, if he did say so himself. He'd found a _Jurassic Park_ tabletop pinball game at the thrift store, and Michael had been thrilled beyond measure with it.

Just weird little things, unique to their own little Dan and Michael universe; probably considered strange by anyone on the outside looking in, but Dan wouldn’t trade it for anything.


	5. Sex

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm grossly behind on this, which I expected but at the same time I've really got to get my ass in gear.

The first time they had sex, Dan was mildly terrified.

Not specifically because of anything Michael was doing, but because Dan had never had sex with a man before (he didn’t really count he and Michael’s interactions during the threesome with Kelly Wheeler; that had mostly been about her, wherein this was completely about him and Michael with no female parts mixed in).

But to his surprise, Michael was exceptionally patient with him. He didn’t push Dan to do anything he seemed uncertain about, didn’t get pouty when Dan had to take a metaphorical step back and calm down when things got intense.

In the end, the first time they had sex consisted of a shit ton of foreplay culminating with Michael giving him a really amazing blowjob and Dan reciprocating with a less impressive, but very earnest handjob.

It just got better and better from there. Time passed, and Dan got bolder; allowing Michael to do more while also discovering the bravery to do all the things he wanted to do to Michael.

Dan shocked himself by developing a very strong liking to bottoming.

He had been _extremely_ hesitant about it at first, and put Michael off of it for a really long time. But as with most things, little by little Michael chipped away at his reservations; until one particularly hot and heavy night Dan found himself enthusiastically moaning at the feeling of Michael’s fingers rocking inside him as his mouth worked Dan’s dick. It was driving him up a wall.

“Oh fucking Jesus, _fine_ , fuck me already you asshole,” Dan groaned out through clenched teeth, his thighs shaking at the hard press against his prostate that Michael was currently torturing him with.

For once, Michael didn’t have to be given an order a second time, and he immediately slicked his weird dick with lube before flipping Dan onto his belly and pushing slowly inside him.

Within the first few slow, deep thrusts of Michael’s hips Dan was cursing himself for not allowing this sooner. Michael’s cock felt specifically designed to rub just right against Dan’s prostate with every move, and he was on the fast track to coming so hard his brain would melt.

And to top if all off, Michael seemed just as affected, which was making Dan have quite a few complicated emotions bubble through his chest.

Michael held nothing back in his everyday life; he always said what he was thinking, he was unapologetically affectionate to Dan when the mood struck him, and Dan always knew exactly how he was doing when it came to sex because Michael would either tell him what he was doing wrong or what he was doing right with complete honesty.

This was no different, and Michael was groaning and panting as he gripped Dan’s hip with one hand and his shoulder with the other like he was about to fly apart at the seams.

“Your fucking _ass_ Dan,” Michael groaned against the back of his neck, “ _Jesus_ , why didn’t I seduce you the minute I met you, you’re fucking amazing you absolute _nerd_. Fuck, I love you.”

If Michael hadn’t chosen that moment to make his thrusts harder and faster Dan might have been able to squeak out a response, but as it was all he could do was gasp and shake while moans poured from his mouth.

When he was certain he was going to go insane if he didn’t get off, Dan managed to shove a hand under himself and get a few tight strokes on his dick before coming messily all over the sheets.

Michael was noisy and ridiculous when came, shoving in tight and rapid and it jerked Dan roughly against the bed but he couldn’t muster the brainpower to care.

He flopped boneless and heavy on top of Dan a moment later, breathing like he just ran a marathon and sweating as profusely as Dan was.

They were a goddamn mess in every way and Dan had never felt as good as he did right then.

“Told you,” Michael managed to murmur, though he sounded a lot less cocky than he normally would with the way he was panting.

“Shut up,” Dan murmured in return, just as equally winded and pathetic sounding, “Happy Valentine’s Day, you asshole.”


	6. Date

Dan didn’t realize they were on a date until about halfway through it. The thought that Michael would want to go on dates just never occurred to him.

But here they were on a Saturday night, they had just seen a movie that Michael had let him pick, and when they had been shown to a table at Dan’s favorite Italian bistro Michael had opted to slide in next to Dan on his side of the booth instead of taking the opposite side, as he usually did.

When Dan had looked questioningly at him, Michael had claimed that it would be easier to steal bites of Dan’s food this way, earning him a playful elbow to the ribs.

And while that was certainly true, Michael had also stretched his arm out along the back of the seat behind Dan’s shoulders, and they were pressed hip to hip; Michael’s thigh a warm line down the side of Dan’s, and their feet occasionally nudging up against each other under the table.

It wasn't until they were sharing an order of tiramisu that it finally dawned on him.

“Is this a date?” he blurted, and Michael paused in the middle of licking his spoon, looking at Dan with raised eyebrows.

“Ugh... yeah,” Michael frowned, “I mean... that’s what... unless you _don’t_ want it to be...?”

It was actually kind of precious, to see Michael unsure and maybe even a little nervous, and Dan slid his hand onto Michael’s thigh under the table and gave a little, reassuring squeeze.

“No, no, I definitely want it to be, don’t worry about that,” Dan hurriedly assured him, “I just... I dunno, I just didn’t think you’d be into romantic dates and stuff. Didn’t seem like something you’d be interested in.”

“But _you’re_ interested,” Michael said, still frowning a little, “Aren’t you?”

Dan had known Michael for a little over three years, and he had thought that he had a pretty good grasp of the kinds of curveballs Michael was liable to throw his way. The antics, the lawbreaking, the weird east coast stereotypes; but the one thing Michael was constantly surprising him with was how well he actually knew Dan.

In the three years they had been partners, Dan didn’t think Michael had absorbed a single thing about him; too wrapped up in his own little world to notice the things Dan liked or Dan’s hobbies and interests.

It was becoming increasingly clear to him that he was completely wrong, and Michael knew and understood a lot more than he let on; more than that, he seemingly had been filing away knowledge about Dan since the day they met.

“I am,” Dan answered truthfully, “But I want you to enjoy it too.”

The frown faded from Michael’s face and was immediately replaced by a look that was half adoration half exasperation, and Michael grabbed his chin to pull him into a firm kiss.

“I’m with you,” Michael said simply, still pressed in close to Dan’s face and speaking quietly, “There’s never anything unenjoyable about that.”

Dan’s heart felt like it had melted into a little puddle of goo in his ribcage, and he leaned in for a second kiss as his hand tightened on Michael’s thigh.

“Thank you,” he breathed softly, and Michael smiled, “That means a lot to me.”

“Nerd,” Michael grinned a little wider, and Dan knew his partner well enough by then to recognize that as a term of endearment rather than an insult, and he grinned back.

“Let’s finish this tiramisu and get out of here,” Dan rubbed his thumb against the outseam of Michael’s pants slowly, and Michael’s eyes immediately dilated with interest.

“You got it, partner.”


	7. Romantic

Being in a relationship with Michael was nothing like he imagined.

Admittedly, it was something he had thought about a lot, once he got his head on straight and realized quite vividly that his emotional distress during the leaked article fiasco (when Michael was fired and then went missing) was pretty deeply rooted in a lot more than friendship.

He thought it would be a messy, dangerous affair, and the disastrous “dinner party” had seemed to confirm that.

But when Michael kissed him (also messy and a little painful) in the hot air balloon on the way to the east coast, Dan knew that he couldn’t say no to this man; that even if it was an _American Beauty_ fever dream of a love affair. He still had to try.

He was honestly, legitimately surprised when it was nothing like he was dreading.

He wasn’t sure how much of it was the fact that Dan himself forbade Michael from turning their new home into a stereotypical _Breaking Bad_ -esque drug den, but the fact that it didn’t take much effort to enforce his will in that regard was certainly a surprising factor.

But mostly it was the fact that Michael seemed to like adapting to Dan’s lifestyle. Which shouldn’t have surprised him considering the fact that he knew Michael had broken into his apartment on a regular basis.

Still, that was only the tip of the iceberg when it came to Michael surprising him.

Sometimes he was _romantic_ , which Dan didn’t think was ever a quality he would associate with Michael Swaim. But he _was_ , amazingly so, and while it had been strange at first to be the one being wooed, Dan developed rather a taste for it.

The things Michael deemed “romantic” weren’t always romantic in the traditional sense, but he was mostly thoughtful and well-meaning and that’s all Dan could ask for.

Like the time he filled their bed with Kit-Kats, because they were Dan’s favorite candy. The problem was that he had unwrapped them all, so chocolate smudges were all over the sheets. But it had been a sweet sentiment, and Dan had appreciated it all the same.

But mostly it was the little things.

Dan was a romantic at heart. He unironically enjoyed rom-coms and believed in true love and got teary at romantic gestures. And Michael knew so many of Dan’s romantic weaknesses he could have written a book.

Every Saturday in the spring and summer, there was a farmer’s market in town, and they would go to enjoy the nice weather and buy some fresh produce.

There was also a flower stand, and every Saturday Michael would spend a few dollars of his own money to buy Dan a red carnation.

Every Tuesday, they would go to a bar and play trivia, and they’d share a plate of loaded fries and drink whatever local beer was on tap.

Sometimes Dan would get out of the shower on a Friday night to find that Michael had set up a picnic of snacks on their living room floor and had loaded up the DVD player with one of Dan’s mushy rom-coms.

That was one of Dan’s favorite things that Michael did for him. It was so simple, but so sweet and Dan loved settling in against Michael while they watched Tom Hanks and Meg Ryan fall in love on their television screen.

They made a game out of kissing to make up for every time the protagonists “almost kissed” and were inevitably interrupted, or every time romantic music played, or every time there was a sexual innuendo.

Over and over, week in and week out, Michael proved to him just how much he loved him, and how well he knew him, and Dan strived to do the same in all the ways he knew how.

Loving Michael was easy. He’d done that for years. But actually being in a romantic relationship with him, finding all the ways they fit together and how much he was enjoying that journey... they were all things he couldn’t have predicted.

When Michael had kissed him in the basket of that hot air balloon, Dan imagined a completely different kind of life than the one he was currently living.

This one was infinitely better.


	8. Aphrodisiac

“ _God fucking dammit, Michael!_ ”

Dan’s back spasmed as it jarred up against the corner of a filing cabinet painfully, and Dan was really tempted to clock Michael one. This was _entirely_ his fault, after all, so he completely deserved it.

“Don’t know what you’re whining about,” Michael huffed against the side of his neck, and Dan was so infuriated with the way his skin broke out in goosebumps at the sensation, “Not like you’re getting laid otherwise.”

Dan’s face burned with humiliation, and the temptation to hit Michael grew. He probably would later, in all honestly, but right now it felt like there was lava in his bloodstream and he was so hard he was on the verge of pain. That was more pressing than blooding Michael’s nose.

“You have _got_ to stop rooting through the Chief’s office,” Dan gasped as Michael’s hand _fucking finally_ rubbed at his dick through his dress pants, “What if that had been poisonous?”

“It was labeled ‘aphrodisiac’, Dan, it would have been labeled poison if it was poison.”

Dan growled as his shaking hands fumbled to push Michael’s t-shirt up, but the weak whine in Michael’s throat when Dan’s hands met skin made him feel a little triumphant.

“Do you even know what ‘aphrodisiac’ means, Michael?”

“Well I _thought_ it would give us some sweet afros, but maybe we have to have sex first and then they’ll grow?”

“Oh for the love of-” Dan huffed in frustration, pushing Michael to the floor forcefully and crawling up his body when the sudden pain of separating from his partner made his head hurt and his skin feel like pins and needles.

As much as he liked to pretend otherwise, he had always kind of known that the Chief was supernatural in some way, and Michael finding a bag of some kind of fuck-or-die dust was just another bullet point on his list of strange happenings at Cracked.

“I’m really going to strangle you one of these days,” Dan panted, yanking roughly at his tie until he could pull it off his neck, then going for the buttons on his shirt, “I mean it, Michael, I really am going to throttle you.”

“Well which one, are you going to strangle me or throttle me?” Michael asked as he yanked his own t-shirt up over his head before shoving down the elastic waist of his track pants.

His weird, _weird_ dick sprang up immediately, begging for attention and god help him Dan felt a pull like a vaudeville hook to give it exactly that.

“They mean the same thing, idiot,” Dan growled, even as he was compelled to take Michael’s cock in his hand, stroking firm and quick along the hard length. It was strangely lumpy, and Dan was momentarily distracted by the oddity of that that he didn’t notice that Michael was undoing his belt and slipping the button on his slacks until he had moved on to sliding down the zipper as well.

“Then why use two different words for it?” Michael rolled his eyes, “That’s dumb.”

“You’re dumb,” Dan shot back weakly as Michael’s hand slid into his underwear and squeezed his dick, “ _Fucking hell._ ”

“Just shut up, Dan,” Michael moaned as Dan’s thumb circled the tip of his cock, making him shudder and tighten his grip on Dan’s dick.

Dan was cut off from having any witty retort by being manhandled further up Michael’s chest; Michael’s hands tugging until Dan’s knees were tucked under Michael’s arms and Michael was lifting his head off the floor to take Dan in his mouth.

It couldn’t have been comfortable, craning his neck up like that, but Michael showed no sign of being in pain as he sucked Dan’s dick with a noisy moan.

And Dan couldn’t help the way he fell forward, bracing his hands on the floor and pushing mindlessly into Michael’s mouth with desperate sounds erupting from his throat.

He would feel a bit bad about that later; it was the epitome of inconsiderate, the complete fellatio faux pas, but in the moment and with his body feeling like it was stuffed full of fourth of July sparklers he wasn’t even thinking about it.

Nor did Michael seem to mind, if his messy moans and the tight grip of his hands on Dan’s hips were anything to go by.

It felt like forever, each second dragging on and Dan _definitely_ should have come by now. He hadn’t been with anyone beyond a couple unsatisfying handjobs in college, and Michael’s mouth was _incredible_. There was no way his stamina should have been as good at it was.

Michael pulled back on a gasp, whining pathetically, “Dan... Dan, please, just-”

Michael’s pushed and manipulated him until Dan understood what Michael wanted him to do, and in his sex-addled state, Lust-Brained-Dan was kicking himself for not thinking of it first.

Dan enthusiastically moved to turn around, bracing his hands on either side of Michael’s hips and moving with Michael’s guiding hands until Michael could take him in his mouth again. At the same time, Dan angled his head down to wrap his lips around the tip of Michael’s cock for the first time.

It was _so much_ better, creating this awesome pleasure loop between them. Dan didn’t even mind Michael occasionally jerking up into his mouth and making Dan choke because the deep-chested way that he moaned when he did it- like it was the single greatest thing he’d ever felt- more than made up for it.

It seemed to make a difference to whatever magic had its hooks in them too, because it wasn’t long after that that Dan could finally feel his orgasm start to creep up his spine, threatening to overtake him at any second.

Michael’s fingers dug into his hips suddenly, jerking Dan down into his mouth with a sharp thrust, and Dan lost it with a messy whine as Michael swallowed and moaned around him.

The bitter taste of Michael’s cum splashed across his tongue, but it wasn’t as bad as he thought it would be; which could have had something to do with the effect of the aphrodisiac making his whole body throb with pleasure and his orgasm pulse out in spine-melting waves.

He could barely hold his body up when it was all said and done, and he only just managed to roll of to the side with an uncoordinated flop to avoid squishing Michael impolitely.

“No more touching The Chief’s stuff,” Dan panted weakly, “You hear me?”

Michael gave a barely coherent grunt, but Dan really didn’t have the strength just then to rant about Michael’s stupidity the way he wanted to.

Instead he just focused on catching his breath, flat on his back in the Chief’s office and praying that no one else came in in search of their wayward boss.

There was a reason he had started day drinking.


	9. Chocolate

This was stupid.

Michael seemed to be having a great time, but Dan just felt sticky.

Dan squirmed as Michael licked a smear of chocolate sauce off of Dan’s right nipple, his tongue making a wet sound.

“This is weird,” Dan grimaced, the cold sauce slowly dripping down his side uncomfortably. Thank god he had put a towel down.

“I like it,” Michael shrugged, “It’s like Dan fondue. Dan-due!”

Dan groaned and rolled his eyes at the terrible pun, and Michael licked a heart shape into the chocolate sauce over his sternum.

“I just feel sticky and gross,” Dan complained some more, “Do we have to carry on with this?”

Michael raised his head with a frown, and Dan tried to look apologetic.

Michael sighed, giving another forlorn lick before sitting back on his heels.

“You’re really harshing my buzz, man,” Michael looked dejected, but Dan reached for the extra towel anyway and started wiping the remaining chocolate sauce off with a grimace.

“I’ll make it up to you,” Dan promised, sitting up and reaching a hand up to the back of Michael’s neck so he could pull him down into a kiss, “Come shower with me. I’ll blow you.”

Michael seemed marginally appeased, and Dan’s hand slid up into Michael’s hair to scratch gently at his scalp, “We could just use the chocolate sauce for ice cream or something, you know. Seems like a more efficient way to eat it than involving it in sex.”

“If you’re volunteering to buy me ice cream right now I’ll forgive you for being a party pooper,” Michael sighed, and Dan chortled.

“I will buy you ice cream, Michael. I promise.”

Michael pressed another kiss to his mouth before hopping off the bed, “ _Fine._ But I’m getting the extra large sundae.”

Dan smiled with amusement, “Sure thing, Michael.”


	10. Hearts

Dan always found the gaudy, bright pink and red hearts used in Valentine’s Day decorations to be obnoxious. They felt like hollow representations of the true nature of hearts.

Dan’s heart, for example, was worse for the wear. Dan had a rather bad habit of falling in love (or at least infatuation) with people very easily and very fast. It was a very poor habit, as it always resulted in Dan’s heart getting stomped on when the women he pined for inevitably passed him over for someone else.

His mother, when he was nineteen and heartbroken (again), had told him, “You’re addicted to love, my darling. You will never be happy if you keep chasing and chasing love. Let it come to you.”

He’d written her off at the time. It hadn’t made sense to him, the idea of just being passive when there was someone he wanted; he needed to make his love known for it to go anywhere, right? Give them his heart so they could give theirs back?

He didn’t understand what she meant until he met Michael.

And even then, it took a while for Dan to come around. He doggedly pursued Mandy for over a year, and somehow eventually convinced her to date him (kinda). And even though it was a trainwreck, and even though he _knew_ deep down that she didn’t care about him, it still cut at his vulnerable heart when she broke up with him so callously.

It wasn’t until Mandy was truly, finally in the rearview that clarity finally started to dawn on him. Even then, realization didn’t fully set in until Michael was giving heart eyes to Perry and it made Dan’s blood boil with jealousy.

Even more than that, it felt exactly like that crushing, painful blow that always followed being rejected, or seeing someone he’d been in love with get in a relationship with someone else.

He had given Michael is heart, completely against his will and to his own baffled amazement. Love had come to him, just like his mother had predicted, though it was with someone he never could have even imagined he would love.

Hearts were strange things. His had ended up in the hands of a weird, tall, magic maniac, but what was even more miraculous was that Michael handed his own heart over in exchange.

Dan had offered his heart to many people over the years, and it had been tossed back to him battered and bruised again and again. It felt insane that Michael would be the one to finally hold it gently, but Dan wouldn’t have it any other way.


	11. Valentine's Day Cards

Michael had stuffed his desk full of X-Men Valentine’s Day cards.

They all had cutesy puns on them like, “Look sharp Valentine!” with a drawing of Wolverine with his claws out, or “I’m so blue without you” with Beast holding out a bouquet of flowers.

They were cute in a grade-school way, and Dan rifled through them with amusement.

Michael had taken the time to fill out every “To” and “From” box on every card, and Dan had a sneaking suspicion Michael may have used up an entire package of these cards on him.

He collected up as many of them as he could find and put them in a neat pile on his desk, just in time for Michael to come bounding over.

“What do you think, partner?” Michael asked cheerfully, “Do you like my cards?”

“That was very sweet of you, Michael, thank you,” Dan gave him a genuine smile, and Michael returned it brilliantly.

“I figured you had a lot of catching up to do,” Michael smirked, “make up for all the years you didn’t have me for a Valentine. That’s what partners are for, Dan.”

Dan sighed, unsure how to address Michael’s backhanded compliment, but he decided to just let it go and move on. His day went easier that way.

“I don’t have a Valentine for you,” Dan decided to confess instead, “Being a Valentine is a partner’s rule I didn’t know about. I’m sorry, Michael, I’ll give you one tomorrow, alright?”

The smirk slid off of Michael’s face a little, but Dan was three steps ahead, “I do have this, though.”

Dan reached into his messenger bag and pulled out a bag of chocolate hearts, and Michael immediately perked up. Having candy on hand was a good trick to curb Michael’s emotional upheavals, “Happy Valentine’s day, Michael.”

Michael snatched it out of his hand eagerly and ripped it open with enthusiasm. To Dan’s surprise, Michael offered him the first piece.

“Happy Valentine’s Day, Dan,” Michael smiled, and Dan took the candy with a touched grin.

“Thanks, Michael.”


	12. Cupid

“I never understood why Cupid wears a diaper,” Michael said in the greeting card aisle, looking with perplexion at a Valentine’s Day card covered with cherubs, “If _I_ could fly, I’d pee on people all the time. I mean really, who wouldn’t?”

Dan chortled, reaching back and tugging Michael’s sleeve gently, coaxing him further down the aisle, “Technically I don’t think those are Cupid. Cupid was a roman god, if I remember right, and those are supposed to be some kind of angel. I don’t really know how they came to be mixed and thought of as the same thing.”

“Are you sure?” Michael squinted at him, “That doesn’t sound right.”

“I’m pretty sure,” Dan shrugged, “Anyway, what does it matter?”

“It doesn’t, I guess,” Michael frowned, glancing back at the cards. He paused thoughtfully for a moment.

“Do you think Cupid ever fucks with people with his magic love arrows or whatever?” Michael fell into step with him again, and Dan looked questioningly at him.

“What makes you ask that?”

Michael shrugged, looking at his shoes while they walked further into the grocery store, and a drop of anxiety plopped into the middle of Dan’s stomach.

This was still new, this thing between them. Every day Dan woke up expecting Michael to be gone, vanished in the middle of the night to go back to the West coast because he didn’t love Dan after all.

Michael asking questions about love arrows and misplaced love was seizing him with terror.

“You don’t...” Dan cleared his throat awkwardly as they stepped into the bread aisle, “You don’t think Cupid has made a mistake with you and me, do you?”

He was actually, physically shaking as he asked the question with a quiet voice. It was late in the evening, so the store was mostly empty, but he still didn’t really want his and Michael’s love life being spilled out in a way anyone could hear.

“What?” Michael looked genuinely baffled, and the fear lessened in Dan’s chest a little, “No! Dan, come on. Never.”

Dan nodded solemnly, and they stopped in front of the white bread.

“No, I was just thinking about all the other people,” Michael waved his hand vaguely, “You know, Mandy, Kelly Wheeler... whatever east coast possums you were all gooey-eyed over before that. Like, do you think you fell in love with them because you were supposed to, like you had to fill a quota of crappy crushes before you got to me?”

It was a weirdly metaphysical train of thought for Michael to have, and Dan wondered how long it had been on his partner’s mind.

“I don’t know,” Dan said honestly, “Maybe? Guess it kind of depends on whether you believe in fate or not, I think.”

Michael nodded thoughtfully again, and Dan glanced around briefly before reaching out and taking Michael’s hand, “We figured it out, right? That’s the important part, don’t you think?”

Dan wasn’t sure if he was seeking reassurance for Michael’s sake or his own.

Michael gave him a small smile, squeezing Dan’s hand warmly before leaning down to kiss him with a gentle press of his lips.

“Yeah,” Michael acknowledged in a whisper, “Guess you’re right.”

He straightened up and gave Dan a bigger grin, the reached up to get a loaf of bread from the shelf, “Can we buy an ice cream cake?”

Just like that, Michael was back to food, and Dan breathed a little, shaky sigh.

“Not unless you’re paying for it.”

“Scrooge,” Michael complained, “I thought you loved me?”

Dan chortled, squeezing Michael’s hand again and shaking his head fondly, “I adore you, you weirdo. But I’m still not buying you ice cream cake. You’re going to get cavities, the rate you consume sugar.”

“Pft,” Michael waved him off, and they started walking again, seeking their other groceries.

Michael was right, he’d had crushes on some pretty crappy people.

Michael was _definitely_ not one of them.


	13. Lingerie

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm a horrible person and am bad at writing challenges why do I do this.
> 
> Also this chapter is pretty filthy I got on a runaway smut train with this one.

It’s not like Dan didn’t know that Michael had no problem with playing around when it came to gender. The guy had _volunteered_ to wear a skimpy nurse’s uniform, despite the complete lack of need for it, when his “heist buddy” Benedict had come to call and pull them into his crazy scheme.

So the garter belt and panties really shouldn’t have been a surprising thing to find in Michael’s underwear drawer, if Dan thought about it.

Mostly, he just didn’t know how he felt about them. The idea of Michael wearing them was something he just really couldn’t conjure into his imagination.

It did get him thinking, though. He considered the possibility that Michael wore these under his regular clothes sometimes; that maybe he’d sat talking to Dan with these on under his track pants in the Cracked office.

Dan rubbed the panties between his fingers. They were a bold, scarlet red, and a sexy mix of silky fabric and lace. They were vaguely thong-like, with thin bands of lace connecting the front and back panels, which themselves were narrow and probably left nothing to the imagination.

It was stupid, how much he suddenly wanted to see Michael in them.

“You’re lucky I removed the booby trap from that drawer.”

Dan jumped out of his skin with a hard gasp, clutching his chest and spinning around with his heart in his throat. He hadn’t heard Michael come into their bedroom, and his partner speaking had scared the crap out of him.

As such, it took him a second to catch up to what he’d said, and the idea that Michael had random drawers rigged to do... _something_ was fairly frightening. But then he noticed Michael looking at Dan’s hand where it was still on his chest in surprise, and he realized with a flash of embarrassment that he was still holding the panties.

“Oh-! I-! Uh-!” he babbled, his face turning red with mortification as he fumbled with them, and Michael just grinned, stepping further into the room until he was standing close.

“Are you being weird because you don’t like them or you like them more than you thought you would?” Michael asked cheekily, and Dan wanted to vanish in a puff of smoke he was so embarrassed. Michael plucked the panties out of his hand.

“Dan,” Michael angled his head down to kiss him, “Breathe.”

Dan gasped, a little light headed and Michael sighed and shook his head fondly.

“Want to see me in them?” he asked with a tilt of his head, and Dan was ashamed of how much he wanted exactly that.

“Yes,” he whispered honestly, still beet red, and Michael smiled brilliantly. He reached behind Dan to fish out the garter and stockings as well, and Dan was astonished at how curious and turned on he was.

Michael disappeared into the bathroom with a smirk, and Dan nervously paced at the foot of the bed for a moment before forcing himself to sit down.

Michael came out of the bathroom a few minutes later, and Dan didn't know what to do with himself.

It was... _really freaking sexy_. He wasn't expecting that to be the overwhelming consensus of both his brain and his dick, but it hit him _hard_.

“Holy shit,” he breathed, and Michael beamed.

“It’s better with heels,” his partner shrugged one bare shoulder, “But I don't feel like digging them out.”

Dan gave a delirious little laugh, shaking his head. Of course he had matching heels tucked away somewhere. Michael never really did anything halfway.

“Anyway... like it?” Michael asked, and Dan could only nod mutely, his eyes tracking up and down Michael's long legs and over the red panties.

The lace bands on the sides lay high on Michael’s hips, creating a sharp “V” with the panties that made Michael's long legs look even longer somehow. Then there was the lace and silk being stretched to accommodate Michael's weird dick and Dan got the insatiable urge to put his mouth there.

“Get over here,” he breathed, and Michael immediately moved, coming toward him with slow, sultry steps.

Dan grabbed his hips when he got close enough, tracing his palms over his hips and thighs, the contrast of Michael's skin and the stockings making his hands itch.

He licked his lips before leaning in and mouthing at Michael's cock through the thin fabric, breathing heavy and slow and letting the heat of his breath slide over it.

Michael shivered, his hands coming up to press on the back of Dan's head gently, and Dan could feel him getting hard under the silk and lace.

It was stupid how turned on he was, and he moaned a little, all the things he wanted to do to Michael in that moment fighting in his head. He wanted to push Michael around, he wanted to say horrible filthy things, he wanted to rough him up and leave _marks_. He'd never wanted that before, not sexually, anyway, and it was a little frightening.

He looked up, licking his lips, and Michael traced his mouth with his thumb.

“Michael-”

“Dan, I swear to you, anything you want will be a thousand percent fine with me, just do it you nerd,” Michael said in a rush.

Dan moaned, shaking his head even as his dick throbbed with how eager Michael sounded.

“You really don't want that,” Dan said quietly, and Michael's eyes widened.

“I should have pulled these out ages ago,” Michael groaned, “I had no idea this was all it took to pull the bully out of you, _dammit_ Dan, _fuck me up_.”

Dan's breath caught in surprise, and Michael leaned down to kiss him with a whine, “ _Fuck me up._ ”

Dan would take the time to overanalyze all of this later, but Michael was insisting and so was his dick, and Dan was really fucking weak to resist that combination.

“Get on the bed,” Dan pulled at him, and Michael went immediately, flushed and panting slightly and looking at Dan eagerly.

There was no way in hell Dan deserved to have this but he was taking it anyway.

He tugged the front of the panties down, freeing Michael’s dick and immediately ducking his head to take it into his mouth.

Michael squirmed, and Dan pinned his hips in a tight grip, his mind buzzing and whirling over what he wanted to do.

Michael could take him without any prep; it was a fact that was forever burned into his memory, learned on their first night together on the east coast, when Michael had been impatient and desperate and Dan had blindly followed his lead. The visual of Michael slicking Dan’s dick before riding him like a fucking pony, making happy, pleasured sounds the whole way, would fuel his hard-ons for years to come.

So would this, and all Dan wanted was to fuck Michael hard and rough while he called him a slut. Michael was right, it brought out the bully in him, having Michael looking so insanely fuckable.

He pulled off with a sloppy wet sound, sitting back on his heels and groaning at the pretty picture Michael made spread out on the sheets.

“How much do you need?” Dan asked hoarsely, “I want to fuck you, how much do you need?”

“Nothing,” Michael groaned, “Jesus, Dan, stop asking me things and just _do it_. I'll say stop if I mean stop.”

Dan groaned raggedly, had to look at the ceiling and take a few deep breaths because Michael was honestly going to kill him.

“Jesus, you're such a slut,” it spilled out of Dan's mouth before he could stop himself, but Michael just squirmed and arched and a satisfied smirk tugged at the corner of his smug mouth. Dan wanted to fuck that narcissism right off his face.

He pulled and shoved Michael onto his belly before landing a sharp hit to his ass, and Michael gasped. Dan was so sure Michael would call it all off but instead his partner arched his back and raised his hips into it with a needy moan.

“You act like this with everyone else you fucked?” Dan asked, hitting the other cheek now and feeding the fire of jealousy that burned in his guts, “You offer your ass up like a cheap whore?”

Michael groaned and nodded mutely, pushing his hips back again and Dan was fresh out of self control.

The back of the panties were almost entirely red lace, riding high between Michael's cheeks. Dan groaned, the combination of the panties and the garters framing Michael's ass like an invitation he could never say no to.

He leaned over to the bedside drawer, pulling out the lube before getting his own pants out of the way. He was so hard he _hurt_ , and he grimaced at the discomfort of finally sliding the zip down on his jeans.

A quick swipe of lube over his shaft and he was shoving the lacy edge of the panties aside only enough to get to Michael's hole.

He shoved in on a hard, steady push.

Michael moaned loud and pathetically, writhing on Dan's dick and Dan gripped his hips in a bruising grasp.

“Don't you fucking stop, you fucking pussy,” Michael growled, pushing back into it roughly and gripping the sheets so hard his knuckles were white.

Dan started moving with a shaky moan, rough thrusts that jolted the bed and made an obscene slapping noise against Michael's ass.

And Michael was just eating this shit up, groaning and pushing back into Dan’s thrusts and breathing filthy encouragements, “ _Yes_ , fucking give it to me, fuck me, _fuck me_ come on!”

Dan growled as he tugged on Michael’s hips, raising him off the bed a bit and changing the angle, making it deeper and tighter and Michael whined pathetically.

“Such a fucking slut,” Dan said again on a groan, his hands moving to Michael's shoulders and leaning heavily, pinning him down and fucking him harder and Dan had never fucked someone like this.

But Michael was pushing back into it noisily, shaking and writhing and still panting _yes_ ’s and _fuck me_ ’s and Dan sure as fuck wasn’t going to last much longer like this.

Then Michael wedged a hand under himself and started jerking his cock, getting steadily noisier until he came with a shout, and Dan was done for.

Michael tightened around him like a vice, and Dan's climax barreled into him like a freight train, stealing his breath and locking his joints and Dan may have even gone momentarily blind but it was hard to tell.

He was shaking like a leaf and moaning pathetically, hunched over Michael's back and sweating through his clothes. He'd _never_ felt anything so intense, and his body seemed to be considering passing out.

He opted to lay gently over Michael instead, panting in the space between his shoulder blades, and Michael reached his hands back, gripping Dan’s hips with a little hum.

“You okay?” Dan asked quietly, already feeling guilty for Michael's rough handling, but Michael snorted derisively.

“ _Daniel_ , are you _kidding_. I would have pulled all of this out first day if I knew it could get you that amped up.”

Dan groaned with embarrassment, digging his forehead into Michael's back, “I don't know what came over me. Oh _god_ I called you a _slut. Twice!_ ”

“I _know_ it was incredible!” Michael gushed happily with a deep sigh, “You’re so hot when you get all macho.”

Dan chuffed out a disbelieving laugh, and Michael's hands squeezed his hips gently.

“Dan, I'm serious. That was honestly amazing. I look killer in a schoolgirl uniform, we should do that next time. You could spank me for bad behavior.”

Dan didn't know what to do with the visceral, gut punch of desire Michael's words conjured up in him, and he groaned against Michael's back.

“Oh god, you’re going to be the death of me, Michael.”

“At least it'll be a fun ride.”


	14. Love

There were a lot of sayings about love, and most of them were bullshit, in Dan’s opinion.

He used to believe them. Spent so many years chasing the Hallmark card version of love that he almost didn't recognize the real deal when it finally came his way.

He thought Michael brought out the worst in him. And it may have been true, at first. His temper, his anxiety, his weakness. Michael drove him crazy, with no sign of remorse, and it almost drove him to quit more than once.

Then something shifted, when Michael took the fall when he thought Dan was leaking info to Broked.com. Even though it wasn’t actually Dan that was doing it, Michael _thought_ it was, and had given up not only his job but apparently his place to sleep in order to protect Dan.

And Michael acted like it was nothing, like it was unthinkable that he would have done anything else but protect his partner.

Dan found himself realizing one day that far from bringing out the worst in him, Michael brought out the best. His patience, his creativity, his compassion, his ingenuity.

More than that, he realized he brought out the best in Michael too. Michael was kinder, under Dan’s influence, was more generous and gentle than the man who had dropped a bottle of Jameson on his head from a third floor balcony.

Love didn't change them; it just flushed out all the things that were already there and made them better.

That wasn’t to say love was easy. Loving Michael was frequently a challenge, and he knew he was no picnic either. But at the end of the day, no matter what they were struggling through, Dan couldn't look at the life they had built together with anything other than happiness.

He used to think he wanted the Hallmark card kind of love. Then Michael barreled into his life and stole his heart, offering his own in exchange and Dan knew he was never meant for bullshit love sayings and watercolor flower cards.

He was meant for Michael, and all the extraordinary, beautiful things that came with him.


End file.
